Hi,

I am Benedikt Bergweiler and (hopefully) a soon-to-be high-school graduate from Germany. I am attending the 13th grade (comparable to the 12th grade in the American school system), 19 years old and doing my exams in May to June. One of the two advanced courses I voted is English; to be permitted to the exams, everyone has to elaborate a written work with about 15 to 30 pages. I took English as the subject and finally got the following topic: >>An ailing patient — the decline of Detroit, “Motor City” of the USA<<. So much for the introduction.

I worked constantly about half a year in order to create a qualified but easy to follow essay. I hope I achieved my goals.

But judge yourself, I put up a little site with the essay that contains my work in form of a PDF-file direct link to the essay .
Also, a guestbook and a discussion board (w/o registration) is available on the page, so if you have any comments, just go ahead and post them!
Of course, I made the page among others because I hope to impress my teacher with that *G* to get a better mark for this essay.
I'll update the pdf-file once per day until the submission date in one week (see below), as it now contains almost no pictures (here i want to thank Anthony Hiller for his allowance to use the pictures from his website!), charts and so on
Furthermore, the footnotes are not properly worked out and so on... you see, the essay is still in production and far away from being complete


I would appreciate your statements about it very much, so if you like to read a long text (roughly about 41), go ahead ;).
I was probably working about 200-300 hours on it in total, so I really could gain some information about Detroit. I took advantage of interlibrary loans and read/bought quite a lot books about the city. I could have written about 500 pages without repeating myself, but the amount of pages was limited, so I was forced to leave out a lot of Detroit's history.

BTW: the submission date for the essay is 02/02/04, so if you find any severe faults you are invited to tell me ;).
You can e-mail me: bergweiler@[nospam]gmx.de (remove '[nospam]'-tag).
I may have been depicting Detroit's future too bleak, but as it was my assignment, I hope you can excuse me..

Although I have never been to Detroit (but to NY and Chicago in my early childhood), however, I think I've learned much about American society in general. Someone on that forum wrote about the "ghosts of Detroit that haunt someone". I was captured too by the development of Detroit and I am fascinated about the city. Unfortunately, I don't have sufficient capital to fly over to Detroit, but if I have time and enough money, I surely will visit Detroit one day...

I wish things keep going in Detroit!

Greets,
Benedikt

P.S.: do you know any other, well visited discussion boards about detroit?

(Message approved by admin)

Good grief, could anyone imagine an American high school student writing so extensively about a German city and in German! I did not read it all but enough sections to be impressed.

You also have my permission to use any pictures from this site.

Thank you, Lowell for your permission to use the pictures and for the friendly welcome-message in the registration-email (even in German... Danke!)!

my friends call me nuts, because I have chosen the most difficult topic and written the most of amount of pages of all students so far (and the picture and charts are not even calculated by now)..
After all, it was tough work; but if my mark is going to be good, I'll be fine...
And as I mentioned before, I learned a lot while doing it

well, now i go to bed, 4 am here in Germany... *yawn*

I don't recall many American high school students writing so extensively about anything in ENGLISH, much less another language. Very impressive, Benedikt.

This is great, Benedikt. What part of Germany are you from? I visited in the summer of 2001, it's truly a wonderful country. Alot different in many ways from America (especially in the sense of urban/suburban social structure and city planning) but so similar in many ways (I was surprised how much American culture has permeated Germany. there was a McDonalds in even the smallest of towns!).
When I have a chance, I'll read your paper completely through, but from the brief sections of it I did read in the past few minutes, I am very impressed. Your English is very, very, very good. I took German for 2.5 years, I was absolutely terrible at it... I can understand it enough, but I can't produce it at all.
Keep up the good work!

DON'T DO IT< DO NOT GO TO THE LINK< this FROZE up my computer and messed it all up. I had to Just turn off the computer cause everything came to a halt. Don't know why, hope it wasnt a Virus, Just don't click on this German guy's Link, ITS BAD BAD BAD

I did it... Didn't do anything to my computer... Downloaded the file, too. No harm.

So Benecict:
Do you wish us to also critique your English, and grammar and that sort of thing.

For example, it would be more typical for an American to use the word "poverty" rather than "poorness." [a word that is rarely, if ever used]

In your first sentence you are missing a space in front of the ".

Do you want that sort of advice/ proofreading?

While very well done for the most part, you may want to watch grammar, sentence structure and word usage. I am not sure if the subject matter, or the grammar is going to be the brunt of your grade.

Here's an interesting fact you can use: Some of Detroit's abandoned buildings actually have trees growing on their roofs. It has been noted that that has only been observed in one other place and time: Berlin after World War II.

For example,
you several times use the phrase 'Motor City" of the USA. Better would be simply, "Motor City," USA.

no need for the "of the"

"they attacked nearby American cities [states] like Kentucky, Pennsylvania and New York. But in 1783, the war was closed by ended with the Treaty of Paris, and Detroit was officially awarded to the United States in the same year. In 1805 [1837], the State of Michigan was created out of Indiana [the Northwest, I think] Territory with Detroit as its seat of government."

History textbook to confirm it right now... I think the official title was Northwest Territory, and it did include all those states. It seems to me, as I remember it, that Ohio was seperate (the Ohio territory), and that it was an ne is which. I can't find my Michigan History textbook to confirm it right now... I think the official title was Northwest Territory, and it did include all those states. It seems to me, as I remember it, that Ohio was seperate (the Ohio territory), and that it was an c History textbook to confirm it right now... I think the official title was Northwest Territory, and it did include all those states. It seems to me, as I remember it, that Ohio was seperate (the Ohio territory), and that it was an ne is which. I can't

how do you do that cross out thing Lowell?

i have some of those too.

eeeeeeeeeeeeek

I think Aram is having some kind of a fit. . .

The American high school students are too busy with FAR more important issues like: Who's calling them on their cell phones to talk about completely useless and inane topics, what shows are on MTV, what A&F stuff they can get at the mall, and who they're going to ask out next.

This thread further confirms my belief that the European (Germany in particular) school system is far more advanced, rigorous, demanding, and superior to the American education system. I remember when I was in high school, the german foreign exchange students were incredibly intelligent and disciplined.

First of all, thank you all for the congratulations, advices and hints! I did not expact that much feedback.

The Aram: I am living in a rather small town, 25 miles North of Munich , Bavaria. You are certainly right, we share lots of things in common; I think I can say that in Germany, everything is just a bit smaller and “older” (but not obligatory worse) compared to the usa... But that's what the world is all about: diversity

Mr Orion: sorry for the trouble, but I think that the PDF file does not contain any virus or whatever (as far as I know, viewable pdf files cannot carry any virus)

Carptrash: you are all welcome to criticise my essay in any regard (thank you for the tips)... but don't work too hard, this gnaws at my conscience (hope that idiomatic expression is right), as you do it voluntarily and don't profit of it. And I am sure, most of you have better things to do than correcting a written work of a kraut...
btw: I paid attention to write my essay in British English, just for the one's who wonder because "criticize" is spelt for example "criticise"

Dag: It all matters, maybe above all the use of language, because my teacher is half an Englishman (doh!) and he barely misses any errors. The contents of my essay may be more or less satisfying (he won't be able to check it anyway as long as he does not read that much about the topic as i did). My English is not THAT good. Unfortunately, I am not a native speaker, take this as an inadequate excuse ;)

Itsjeff: I don't know how Berlin looked like exactly after WWII, but I think many of the buildings were destroyed anyhow, it did matter little if some plants were growing on rooftops. I am quite sure that nature captures vacant structures in every part of the world, as this is a totally inherent process.

Mind field: I just could smile while reading your assessment about the German schools. Right now, we have a great discussion here in Germany, about how one could improve our absolutely outdated and inefficient school system. Don't know if you have ever heard about the “Pisa exams”, Germany did quite bad (... see for example this pdf-file, page 7)
A friend of mine participated in an exchange of students for half a year(he stayed in Vermont). He said that the American school system may be not dealing with specialised subjects like integral calculus. But you learn extensively basic skills, we Germans are likely to forget (because of our hardheaded and far too specialised curriculum). So you see, every system has its advantages and disadvantages.
It is also said that high-school is more demanding in Germany, college less (and you usually have to pay less/no fee)
And YES, almost every student has a cellular telephone in Germany, and are using them during lessons hehe

To all the others: thank you, too! I'll correct it and do some further work until my 2nd release of the essay

For the ones without a PDF-viewer installed: a HTML-version (viewable with any browser) is now available, in case you are interested..
you are now also able to copy&paste parts of the text, but bear in mind that the design and layout is even less perfect

Damn, I think I write too much..

STUNNING. Most American kids don't work this hard or do this well in their native tongue.

Impressive, indeed. Thanks for sharing with us!

Here are a few changes I think make the opening paragraph stronger. Very minor changes though:

If an ordinary American hears the word ”Detroit”, several images might come to mind: the once glamorous Motor City that was synonymous for the American car industry and the manufacturing sector in the USA; remembrance of the past as the 'good old days', where the primary product of Detroit, the automobile, made nearly every American [USA] family a proud car-owning one, advancing them to the achievement of the “American Dream”. Many Americans might prejudge Detroit now as a poor city, which has been devastated by blacks, who they view as being violent, criminal, drug addicts who are driving the business out of the city. Is this a typical case of blaming the victim?

I don't know about in Germany but women are ordinary Americans. Maybe it is just me, but I hate to write any paper with a one sex tone unless it was written from the perspective of myself or from the perspective of a single subject.

I would rethink your final sentence in your opening paragraph. I'm hoping you were trying to explain what is a stereotypical view of blacks but it does not quite read that way.

Can the use of the word nowadays be excised in the paper. I have no idea if there is a similar word in German but it does not read very well. It is a poor word to use in any type of paper, essay or article.

I enjoyed what I read and if I get the chance I will try to read it all.

Jim:
to the gender problem: i had exactly the same thoughts while reading it... now, when an ordinary American hears of the word Detroit, several images might come to "his or her" mind...

to the stereotypes: I hope it gets clear that those things mentioned about blacks (like drug addiction...) are prejudices and acts of generalization, therefore I asked the rhetorical question, if this is a case of blaming the victim. To a great portion, blacks are victims because whites recklessly leave/left the city.

Please report any missunderstood passages like this one, I don't want to write unknowingly in a racial tone. By no means!

I find it fascinating that Benedikt used the word "doh" and used it correctly in his above post. My how the simpsons have flourished. . .

Benedikt, which town? I was in and around Munich for about three days. Might have visited your town!

kazooexplorer: even in the normally bad german translation of the simpsons, homer says d'oh! ;). Unfortunately, i missed the last episode of the new season on January 25 on Fox *G*...

The Aram: Wolnzach (reads like a Polish or Russion name doesn't it).. I would be very suprised, if you had really visited it ;)
Nothing spectacular around here, aside from the hop-plantation (the thing that gives beer its distinctive taste)

I would not use the phrase 'him or her' either. Simply because the reader will be a him or a her and those thinking of Detroit will hopefully be a male or a female. That only leaves one other choice but we don't need to get into that.

"now, when an ordinary American hears of the word Detroit, several images might come to mind".... I just think this reads easier, stronger; but it also is my personal preference.

As for the stereotype and generalization-I had an understanding of what you wanted to state. Others might not. I'm not denying that blacks have been victimized by racism or disinvestment within Detroit. But I still think the original sentence is murky in respect to stereotypical views of blacks.

Nice work. A bit depressing, but realistic. Maybe Detroit should change it's motto so that it's not always having to rise from the ashes.

ben; first of all, i admire your dedication and mastering of the english language. you write your messages very well.

as for the gender issue: this is one of the areas where english gets a little confusing. you can use the plural of a group "their" to include both genders even when you are not refering to a specific group. for example: "now, when an ordinary American hears of the word Detroit, several images might come to "their" mind...

i will try to get through your essay later - when i'm not at work...

my second degree is in english, so if you have any specific questions, feel free to contact me: rockstarchitect@aol.com

Benedikt,

Awesome job! I can't imagine many college students I know writing something of that magnitutde!

One quick correction that I noticed...on page 33, you wrote "downtown is roughly one quare mile", I'm pretty sure you meant one square mile!

Benedikt,

Gruss Gott! Meine Deutch ist nicht so gut. Aber das Englisch ist sehr, sehr gut. (I hope you understood that.)

Your use of English is better than most Americans. There are quite a few words you use correctly that most Americans propably wouldn't understand. You are to be commended for your mastery of English.

I have to agree with many who posted above that you have done a research project on a topic that most American High school students wouldn't even care about, let alone wrote 42 in-depth, highly researched pages.

If you don't get an A+ (is it a 5 in Germany?), your teacher should be fired.

The dude is from Germany. Quit correcting his English for Christ's sake. Great post Benedikt.

rockstarchitect: thanks for the offer, I may surely have some other questions about the English language (which is REAL simple compared to the stupid German one...)

Thanks, marc, Bv, Myers, and all the others i do not mention for then great encouragement!

Myers: I invited everybody to fix mistakes in order to improve my work, because it will be marked, so please don't stop correcting ;)

Benny:

we will continue offring suggestions, but do not feel guilty about it. We will show up in Woinzach one day and expect to be fed, given a place to stay and introduced to your Aunt Heidi.

My apologies....get out the Red Pen!

"Some of Detroit's abandoned buildings actually have trees growing on their roofs. It has been noted that that has only been observed in one other place and time: Berlin after World War II."

Hey Itsjeff or anyone else. Do you know where any of these roof-top foliage are located?

Benedikt, my friend Franziska recently moved back to the Munich area after completing her masters program in English at Wayne State University (the city college here). She, also fell under the trance of our “ghost” town. It might be too late for your paper, but if you are interested, I’m sure she would love to give you her take on Detroit as a German living in the heart of the city for a few years. Who knows, she might live near you. Let me know if your interested... brand500@earthlink.net.

BV: almost forgot... A+ would be 1+ in Germany normally.
But the graduations in German high-school-grade 12-13 are that A+ is equivalent to 15 (points), A would be 14, A- 13,...,E- 1, F: 0.
I think it was Switzerland, where A+ is a 6 and and F is a 1
So, 15 points would be really fine, but they are quite unrealistic... but let's see, I never give up hope
BTW: Of course, I have understood your German!
I wonder how many American students can voluntarily take any German lessons at school, since French is also a lot easier, in my opinion

carptrash ok, I'll try not to feel guilty ;)... however, I won't show you my Aunt Heidi, because I dislike stereotypes (I don't even know a person that's called Heidi ;)). And don't expect to see any persons in leather shorts drinkig beer on snowy mountains. Even though I live in Bavaria, no mountains are in my sourroudings (alps are too far away to be seen). I think you provoked this statement ;)
But at least, it is a bit snowy outside....

They couldn't ever assign this kind of project to American students because it would be too hard and hurt their self-esteem and probably get in the way of their ADD treatments and/or GameCube sessions.

Benny;
i picked Heidi because i have a Grand Aunt with that name - So skip your Aunts, and see if you can line me up with her instead.

Bravo!!!

A lot of American high schools are no longer offering German. I think part of it is because you are correct in saying that it is difficult to learn (all though many German words are very similar sounding to many English words). I have German ancestry and many of my family members learned German in high school. That was the reason I voluntarily took German. Most high schoolers I know take French or Spanish because the teachers usually aren't as strict.

Another reason high schools don't offer German is because of a lack of qualified teachers. My high school teacher grew up in Germany (Bavaria) and moved to the States in the late 70s. My wife's high school German teacher wasn't very good and never lived in Germany for an extensive period. Her teacher only learned German in high school and college and visited Germany a few times. My wife doesn't remember any German while I am constantly surprised with how much German I've retained.

Another reason German isn't as popular is because you are much more likely to use French and Spanish as an American than German. You can go to Mexico or many Hispanic neighborhoods in the US and use Spanish or go to Quebec and use your French. You have to go all the way to Germany, Austria or Switzerland (northern Italy in some places) to use your German.

I suppose it would be handy to know German if you lived in Auburn Hills though!-) (A friendly barb as this is the US "headquarters" for Diamler Chrysler, a company that is becoming less American and more German every day).

In America we don't have thirteenth floors in our buildings or 13th grades in our schools.

So, whenya coming to Detroit to get it first hand?

BTW, the city is on the Detroit River. The St. Clair River is kind of far away, at Port Huron/Sanilac, and feeds Lake St. Clair from Lake Huron. Not sure what you meant or if it needs correcting. Howdya say "cheers" in German?

" Most high schoolers I know take French or Spanish because the teachers usually aren't as strict. '

they obviously never had Señora Martinez for Spanish

One of the two German teachers at my high school grew up in a German-speaking home from Luxembourg. She's also fluent in French as a result. The other I believe lived in Germany for a time, and also majored in it in college. Our German students routinely win top places in the National German Exam, one of my friends spent a couple months in Germany over the summer as a result of winning top prize in Michigan. At least at our school, German is one of the top language programs.

Benedikt, I'm the copy editor at Crain's Detroit Business, a weekly newspaper well-described by its name. Our company produces many business and/or automobile-oriented publications, including http://www.automobilwoche.de/ . I did the same sort of work for another paper you'll see discussed here from time to time, the Metro Times, available at metrotimes.com.
Leaving aside your understandable few problems with grammar and spelling (which may be mostly the British English/American English argument), your work is far better than much of the work submitted by intern candidates for positions at Metro Times. Your piece is focused, thorough and demonstrates excellent knowledge of my home town. I hope you have an opportunity to visit some day. I suspect if you hang around, you'll have plenty of friends from the forum to meet and enjoy when you get here.

Carptrash: suppose that's marlene dietrich, but I don't know for sure ;)

Brasziz: As I already mentioned, I'll visit Detroit when I've enough money, so I need first to complete college, in order to earn money - theoretically. Maybe my cash account is exploding before, any stock-recommendation (compuware?)?

we have quite a lot possibilities to say "see you", for example: bis dann / tschau / tschüss / servus / auf wiedersehen / "pfiat de" (though this one is Bavarian)

Vic Doucette: Thank you for your flattery! I am very pleased to hear that from a professional like you. By the way, I do know Crain's Detroit Business, I book-marked the Website a while ago, though I must admit I have not visited it for a long time


As I have promised, I did some (minor) changes to the work, some pictures were added, footnotes corrected. I simply was too lazy today...
If you want to visit my page, please use http://www.d-troit.de/ from now on, instead of surf.to/detroit, as the latter will pop-up adds in case you don't have any pop-up blocker installed

Benny:
"Carptrash: suppose that's marlene dietrich, but I don't know for sure ;) "


no, that is my Grand Aunt Heidi.

Brasvaria? Sounds intriguing.

yeah:
Unlike in modern Bavaria, I bet they wear leather shorts there.

Na, sehr gut Benedikt! Kann ich nicht mehr sagen.

Benedikt - I have not had a chance to read through your paper thoroughly, but from a quick look I would say this is more like a socio-economic term paper than a simple English essay.

I wish our elementary and high school education regularly expected us to become fluent in concepts that you present, not to speak of a foreign language.

I had to wait to college to learn Spanish, which is not really such a difficult language, twenty years ago. Today it seems with only few exceptions, students do not benefit from serious foreign language study here in the U.S.

Congratulations.

Here's part of the Editor's column from today's Crain's Detroit daily update:

---

quote:

Speaking of reporting, if you have some time, you really ought to check out this link. A 19-year-old German student, as a requirement of his English class, wrote an essay titled An Ailing Patient — The Decline of Detroit, “Motor City” of the USA. Folks, this is one exhaustively researched work. I’m not sure a 19-year-old American student could have done this. I’m also not sure that many of us know this much about our community. Even if you don’t have time, go to the final paragraph of the PDF document of the essay. If only some Detroiters were so gracious about Detroit.

---

I told Bob about the project. Of course, he may well hang around here already. Ask Lowell where his wife used to work!

Steve: I could not believe my eyes when I saw that I was mentioned on Crain's...
thanks to Vic and Bob, for initiating this!

I got some hundred pageviews within a couple of hours... incredible, I never ever imagined anything like this (even an official city planner of Detroit emailed me)... all made possible because of this great forum and a cautious editor.

normally, bandwidth should be fairly enough, however, I don't know how good the peering-connections are to the USA...
my board/guestbook is incredible slow, I must admit (thanks to PHP and a seemingly slow hosting server)

A new pre-release of the work will be uploaded soon, nothing spectacular new though (as I was attending school today).
Pictures were trimmed, the old ones were sometimes very creepy.. changes like correcting a wrong Ford "Firebird" into a Ford "Thunderbird" were made (thanks J.Jones)
Again, thanks to all who reported mistakes or told me their opinions about the essay; each one was positive and very encouraging!

Btw: I don't think anyone has to make a secret out of visiting this board...

From today's Editor's Choice column in the online version of CDB:

Responding to yesterday’s story about the German student who wrote a paper about Detroit, an E-Choice reader writes:

I just printed out this PDF. I’m actually blown away. It says on his Web page that he wants to visit Detroit. I’d like to throw a few dollars in the kitty to get this guy here. He deserves a trip to Detroit along with a red-carpet tour of the city. If, by any chance, you get some additional replies with an interest to help finance a trip, please be sure to let me know.


Funny, I had the same thought yesterday in response to a note from this new reader, Benedikt Bergweiler:

I couldn’t believe my eyes, as I read an e-mail from a page visitor of my Web site, http://www.d-troit.de/, stating that I was mentioned in your “Editor’s choice” column! Thank you so very much for doing this! Since then, I receive even more of response to my essay, each congratulating me for the work. Maybe you could write me, how you came across my Web site.


As I told Benedikt, if I had the money, I would bring him over here myself. Maybe we should take up a collection and get him over here after the snow stops falling, the temperature rises and we aren’t in the throes of seasonal affective disorder.


Oh, to answer the question posed by Benedikt and other readers, credit for finding this site goes to Crain’s copy editor Vic Doucette. And it turns out this column has now gone international, with a link on Benedikt’s site.

<end>

Anybody wanna match my $20 so Ben can come visit us?

I'm in for $20.

If Howard Dean can raise a crapload of money via the internet, why can't Benedikt?

I'm in for 20 - can someone set up a pay pal account?

yeah, yeah, yeah:

fine, i can do $20

Put me in for $20.

In the interest of ease, (or "To make it easy" in non-bureaucratese) perhaps Benedikt should open the PayPal account.

Hmmm...I think I can get him here cheap. And he won't have to do any "favors" either.

Mike, should we all go on the record immediately as being opposed to any illegal activities?

Looks like we won't need too much more to get him here:

http://www.cheapflights.com/flights/Munich/Detroit/index.html

(ok, the site doesn't show flights going the other way...)

You sound so amazingly serious!; what do you think, should I give it a try? bergweiler@gmx.de , think that is what identifies me at paypal?! (just registered a second ago)

Doug W: I presume, I like Detroit that much, I'll never want back ;)


Besides, today I've completely re-read my essay and found so many grammatical, spelling and word order errors, I was horrofied myself. I can hardly imagine that anyone could possibly enjoy reading it.
Well, a new, fourth pre-release is available... a tiny step forward to a non-error era

Who wrote said that the country views Detroit with less negativity than those who live her in the metro area? I think Benedikt's essay shows you just how the world has been viewing Detroit.

Benedikt, you raise a good issue. "Many Americans might prejudge Detroit now as a poor city, which has been devastated by blacks, who they view as being violent, criminal, drug addicts who are driving the business out of the city. Is this a typical case of blaming the victim?"

One that makes many who post and read this site nervous and uneasy because of what you wrote. At least one person above already asked you to change the statement.

But as a Black man, I say you have captured the sentiment in America. And I like your final question which you accurately rate, 'typical'.

Good luck. A good dictionary/thesaurus/etc. will help you with your grammar and spelling. I don't know about the exchange rates or the software license restrictions but the webster, britanica and many other reference book publishers sell their products online for as little as $14.95. And then of course Microsoft Office (with english chosen as the language) will catch American spelling and gramatical errors.

Brian; A good dictionary/thesaurus/etc. could help you with your grammar. Look up the usage of them and those before you criticize Benedikt's writing.

amen

Brian, get your head out of your ass. I understood what Benedikt was trying to state but thought many readers might not grasp that he was trying to explain what is a racist, stereotypical view of blacks due to the wording in his original sentence (which to me sounded more like what HE thought blacks were like). To that end I made a suggestion that I thought made the sentence clearer to the point(s) he was trying to make.

Anyway-you took the sentence I suggested as making his opening paragraph clearer and attempt (very, very poor attempt at that) to state that I asked him to change his tone and alter his premise. And this is the current sentence that is in his essay:

"But today, a lot of Americans prejudge Detroit as a poor city, which is devastated by blacks. They are – in the point of view of many whites – again supposed to be violent, criminal, drug addicts and driving the business out of the city." So I guess he also thought that the sentence in question needed a little more clarification than the way it was originally worded.

jim, from above, "Many Americans might prejudge Detroit now as a poor city, which has been devastated by blacks, who they view as being violent, criminal, drug addicts who are driving the business out of the city. Is this a typical case of blaming the victim?"

What you just printed (jim) "But today, a lot of Americans prejudge Detroit as a poor city, which is devastated by blacks. They are – in the point of view of many whites – again supposed to be violent, criminal, drug addicts and driving the business out of the city."

You did try to rewrite his paper for him. You didn't provide him with facts contradicting his own, you gave him your opinion of how his paper should read. Just as I stated above.

You of all people thought you knew what he was trying to state/explain or convey? I did not take his writings to be an example of what he thought. It seemed more of an obsrevation of what America thinks. The world sees the US on TV and reads the same news stories. Here in the US many ignore the 'racism' revealed in the press. But those in other countries, not tied to the continuing deception of power in this country can more clearly see how things are structured in the US. And I thought he captured that and conveyed it nicely.

As I alluded to his writings hit some nerves because it brought up the subject that is never truthfully discussed and approached it from the perpective of a state of oppression.

Get used to it fellas. People of Detroit will never change unless they can change their hearts and eliminate their racial past. That's all is to it.


Zoot Lives!

Just calm down a bit, jim and Brian...I think you both wanted to say the same actually.

What Brian colored white was jim's suggestion for the sentence, what he colored green is the version I have finally written.

I have found it reasonable, like jim, to change the structure of the sentence in order to prevent misunderstandings like that I intended to view blacks as generally being drug addicts. Of course this is not the case.

In some book I've read about Detroit, somewhere was stated >never arouse the "R"-question<. I didn't get it at first, I think now I've understood...

Anyways, thanks Brian for the advice for the grammer/spelling check in Microsoft Word.. I use right now it (btw, I should have written in AmericanEnglish).

Dear Benny;

no point in asking jim & Briawn to cool down. What you are joining [opinion] is a discussion that has been going on for a while, not just between those two, but among many forum members. its has no begining and it has no ending. Like the Canned Heat endless boogie it just goes on and on and on.

Again good luck on your paper Benedikt. I would be interested in how your paper is received in your country among your peers when it is complete.

I never took your paper to be your personal feelings or beliefs. The 'R' subject is touchy in this country for the reason you originally gave in your previous version. It was dead on accurate.

There is no truth to the rumor that CDB is about to change its name to Bergweiler's Detroit Business, despite yet another mention in the Editor's Choice column:

Benedikt Bergweiler, the German student, is at least one step closer to becoming a Detroiter, in that people are calling him “Ben” or “Benny.” Several of you have said you would pledge money toward bringing him to Detroit. You can read what others are saying about Benedikt by clicking here. I’ll only add this to the discussion: Go easy on the grammar and usage advice, folks. Anyone who can produce the kind of work this young man has doesn’t need a lot of help finding the answers. Also, try to be as nice to each other as you are to Benedikt. Don’t scare him off.

First I will pitch in $20 for Benedikt. What are the chances we can have him bring some Kronberger (its beer people-so relax. But I am arranging for him to spend some quality time with Michael Jackson) over?

Brian-did you read his first draft? No bullshit answer-yes or no. I did (I'm betting you didn't). I found what he orginally wrote sounded more like Benedikt's thoughts of blacks. Based upon the entire essay-I felt that he was trying to make a point of how the majority of white people living in the Detroit area view the blacks living in Detroit (which is exactly how many US citizens view blacks) but that is not how the sentence sounded, at least not to me. Yet you are steadfast in believing I wanted him to change the TONE and the PREMISE of his essay. All I suggested was he might want to make that one sentence a bit more clear to the point he was going to make in the essay.

As asked I will cool it down and chalk it up to a difference in your opinion and of mine based upon the reading of his ORIGINAL essay. Perhaps one day we will be calm enough to discuss Detroit and race in person.

Anyway I find the paper remarkable.

In section 2.1.3.3, I just wanted to point out a connection that I never realized until I studied Japanese business in Japan last fall. You mentioned the voluntary import restrictions on Japanese manufacturers, and suggested that the reaction was to build more cars in America to get around it. Then you mentioned the dominance of the Japanese makes in the luxury car market. I have another connection I'd like to point out to you.

What I learned in Japan was that the Japanese automakers entered the luxury car market in the US specifically as a strategy to get around the voluntary import restrictions. Basically, they created a new strategy because they couldn't sell as many cars as they had demand. Since they had a fixed quota of cars that could be imported, they decided to sell more expensive and profitable luxury cars. And they went at it with such ferocity that Mercedes suddenly had to completely re-think their operations. They were as off guard to the Japanese luxury car efforts as America was in small cars.

Best of luck on your paper.

(Message approved by admin)

I never took your paper to be your personal feelings or beliefs. The 'R' subject is touchy in this country for the reason you originally gave in your previous version. It was dead on accurate.

Can't argue with that! Excellent paragraph Brian!

I don't know if it still exists but last year Northwest Airlines had a $230 round trip direct flight from Frankfurt to Detroit.

To my little fundraising project, I wanted to add, it does not mattter if it works or not... I'll come to Detroit for sure, it's just a matter of time! The tickets don't seem THAT expensive and with Jim's initial $20, maybe I'll be sooner in Detrot than you might think.
Of course, I will let you know in case...

Yesterday, I released a 5th pre-version, thanks to Brian (good advice to use the grammer correction in Word) and Roger (you know why), many and I really mean many mistakes should now be past...
Besides, I changed the language from British to American English, because my target group is also mostly American (You!). Finally labour is labor, neighbourhood is neighborhood, and polarise is polarize, just to name a few examples...

For me, a little final spurt begins until the submission date. But more or less, the main work is done.
Also because all of you helped me finalizing it in some way!

well, Benny:
if you get caught with a few to many britishisms tell your teacher that you did it to add a Windsor [Canadian] flavour to your work - it can still be authentic Detroitspeak.

Hey, I was serious when I said I wanted to make a donation to bring Ben here. Can someone explain how one can do that with a PayPal account? I've never used one and don't have a clue about it.

Never mind ... I figured it out.

Vic: it worked (just received an email from paypal)! THANKS!
Neither I have used paypal before, so what is needed for a transfer? just the email-adress?

I think we should raise money to send a forumer to Munich during Oktoberfest to check out this Benedikt over some weiss bier. I will reluctantly volunteer.