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Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Jan. 28, 2004 3:20 PM

A couple of days back, an E-Choice reader sent this link to a “decision guide” that ranks the presidential candidates based on what you think is important. The reader said I might be surprised at my result. No kidding. My presidential match? Al Sharpton, who narrowly beat out Dennis Kucinich. (Funny, I can’t remember ranking “Looks like Leonard Nimoy” that high.) The remaining Democrats followed close behind. Securely installed at the bottom was President Bush. So I guess this makes it official: I’m liberal media. I’ll hold out my hand while you slap it with a ruler.

Now that Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts is the solid Democratic front-runner, it’s time to look closely at him. I turn to my favorite pundit, Slate’s William Saletan, who points out a trait of Kerry’s that also has kinda bugged me: charisma, or apparent lack thereof. Then again, Kerry was toast about a month ago. Here’s Saletan’s analysis of what happened last night in New Hampshire. Note to Sen. Joseph Lieberman, whom I happen to like: Fifth place is not third place. Note to the man now known as “Wes” Clark: Going from leading in one national poll to being third in New Hampshire, despite having spent all your time campaigning there, is not cause for jubilation. What I never can figure out about candidates is that they want to win, then think it’s good when they don’t finish first in the primary, and then they expect us to take them seriously. (Real people, real math, guys.)

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Given that we all spend time in the kitchen (It’s the favorite room in my house), this New York Times story about bacteria in the home kitchen should be required reading. Start nuking those cellulose sponges, break out the wood cutting board … and wash your hands!

And while you’re at it, break out those dictionaries. Another terrific story from The Times reports that many people are misspelling items they sell on eBay. What that means is few people bid on the items. And some who do bid get stuff for a song, then turn around and sell the item — this time spelled correctly —making a handsome profit. As you read this, editors around the world are trying to figure out how to apply this concept to reporters.

Speaking of reporting, if you have some time, you really ought to check out this link. A 19-year-old German student, as a requirement of his English class, wrote an essay titled An Ailing Patient — The Decline of Detroit, “Motor City” of the USA. Folks, this is one exhaustively researched work. I’m not sure a 19-year-old American student could have done this. I’m also not sure that many of us know this much about our community. Even if you don’t have time, go to the final paragraph of the PDF document of the essay. If only some Detroiters were so gracious about Detroit.

We’ll end the day with the public-service-announcement portion of this column. A man who claimed to be an investment banker filed a report with Key West, Fla., police that someone had stolen $50, his watch and … some marijuana. The man wasn’t charged because no marijuana was found because, well, someone stole it. After reporting that he had lost the pot, the man told police he only wanted to report the watch stolen and not the pot, because he didn’t want police to know “how much weed there was.” Answer: apparently, enough.

ballen@crain.com




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